Is your love interest a bit on the serious side, perpetually focused on being good and doing good, yet prone to being tough-minded and critical? You might be in a relationship with someone with Personality Type 1, known either as The Architect or The Judge, depending on how happy they are in their life.

Happiness is actually pretty hard to come by for the Type 1, because they are wired to have an endless inner critic harping at them in their mind. While we all have some kind of Ego chatter going on in our minds, the Type 1’s is particularly hounding and relentless about how they and everyone else should have done better, and are unworthy of love. This can make them quite miserable, even though they are trying so hard to be stable, helpful, good and right.

So while you fell in love with this person for their intelligence, their talents and skills, their desire to be of service and to improve things, and their dependability, on a bad day you may find yourself on the receiving end of some laserlike critique. When in Judge mode, the Type 1 is known for their dark talent for eviscerating with their words.

The thing to remember is that this is a beautiful soul, who came here to help us all have order, effectiveness and efficiency in our lives. It is the Ego – which is a role with a script – that is thinking and acting that way. You have to love the soul, and forgive the script.

In keeping your heart soft, rather than armoring up in defensiveness, you will be able to keep calm while explaining to your beloved that it hurts your feelings to be on the receiving end of judgment and criticism. Remind them that you know there is a gentler, kinder, person in there, and you would like them to step forward. The one you describe is the one they truly want to be – you are reminding them of who they really are.

In order to bring out the high side of your Type 1, you must stay connected to your own Higher Self. Remember to hold on to your feelings of love and gratitude. The more you do your own inner work so that you can be heart-centered and stable in challenging moments, the easier you will be able to draw this out of others.

If you’d like to learn more about how to go about this, we teach methods for connecting to your own heart and Higher Consciousness in our private membership, Vitality Voyagers, at yourvitalitypersonality.com. Bring out the best in yourself and everyone around you!